Thinking about your high school reunion? I got some great advice… maybe it will help you decide!
Tuesday, November 18th, 2008Last week I had mentioned on air that I was invited to my high school 15 year reunion, and I was “iffy” about going. Got GREAT calls and emails offering advice and wanted to share this one with you in case YOU’RE teetering on whether or not to go to yours:
Hi, Jen.
I heard your show the other day about your upcoming HS reunion — I tried to call in but then had to go get my daughters off the bus. (Sorry, but they do come first over Q104!) I, too, have my HS reunion the weekend after Thanksgiving — must be a PA thing — I’m from about an hour north of PGH.
I have my 20th this year — and have been to my 10th hs reunion, my 10th college reunion, and a few others for different groups that I belonged to on the college level. I must say that I was miserable in hs and didn’t want to go to the 10th — but I went. And I’m going to the 20th mostly because a great friend from hs will be there and she has spent the better part of 20 years on research vessels for marine biology — I really want to see her and she personally asked me to be there. For her, I’ll go and not worry about the other 87 classmates and whether or not they’ll be there.
My advice to you is this (if you do go)
1. Scale back your expectations
I was so disappointed by my 10th hs and 10th college reunions — and that’s because I built them up with HUGE expectations of who would be there, seeing people that I wanted to see, reminiscing over the old times. Found out that you’re lucky if one or two people you enjoyed in the past actually show up. So, you need to go with the expectation of “I hope to see one good old friend” or “one person who I don’t hate” or something! If you go in expecting to see all your old teammates from Track (for example) or the group of girls from your lunch table, you’ll be disappointed.
2. Check your disposition
The biggest influence on how you feel at a reunion is how you feel about yourself inside. It’s amazing how fast insecurities and behaviors that you USED to have come flying back, if you let them. Even good behaviors — if they were how you used to be but aren’t how you are now (like perky, high energy vs. now you’re calm) — come back. You need to walk in there and pretend that the nametag that says “Hi, My Name Is JEN” does NOT say “and this is who I WAS” but instead walk in with the “This is who I AM NOW” — because if you are comfortable with who you are, it doesn’t matter if the jerks from HS treat you the same way: you’re not the same person and you won’t react the same way. And you’ll be who you are and they’ll still be who they were, stuck in time.
3. Take and make the most of what you get
This is huge — I went to homecoming at my college this year and made the most of it — I didn’t really see the few people who I really wished would be there (it was the newspaper staff reunion) — but I found that I had an AMAZING time. Who did I talk to? One guy who I had barely known brought his best friend with him — and I found that I had a great time talking to this man — who enjoys cooking as much as I do. So we talked techniques and recipes and cookbooks I didn’t regret that my two best friends from college skipped the reunion. I had a great time talking to a few friends who were there — and sharing pictures of our kids — and feeling grateful for the good moments we shared. I think this ties in greatly with tip #1 in that for this reunion, I did NOT have huge expectations. At each reunion I’ve gone to — as I’ve gone to more and more — this becomes the biggest factor in if I enjoy myself. Not expecting a lot but recognizing what was nice about it and focussing on that. (I could have focussed on an incident the first night of the weekend when someone snubbed me — ouch! — but instead, I enjoyed talking to people who I may never have met otherwise.)
4. Dinner and a Show
[this tip comes from my husband] — We were discussing your show and the fact that I felt compelled to email you and he reminded me of HIS 10 year HS reunion — which I enjoyed immensely because I didn’t know any of those people and got to watch them get drunk and be total idiots. He wants you to remember that at any reunion, you have the potential for Dinner AND a Show!!!!! Just sit back and watch it unfold!!!!
Okay, now that this is horribly long (sorry) I will close. I really enjoy listening to your show — I like your attitude, the way that you treat the listeners who call in (not rude to them), and the songs that you play! And I love the advice from your Mom! I guess I feel akin in general as I’m another PA transplant living in Cleveland.
You should put on your show sometime a quiz of “what do I mean” and ask people what you mean when you say “I’m being nibby/nebby” or “Redd up the room” or “jagger bush” — because I’ve learned that no one up here knows what I mean when I say that. And that people say the names Don and Dawn differently here. Being from near PGH, you have to have encountered some of that, right?
Thanks and I hope you go to your reunion — someone there might have a better time because of YOU!
Laura
Elyria, OH
